Hey, what’s up? What’s that? Two word greetings had become passé ever since the
advent of short messaging services. The SMS had almost revolutionised and
revamped the poor Webster’s who have been trying hard to keep up with the
changing times on their dictionary. So here, what’s up had become whazzup!
Easy on the fingers as one lesser word to type, that’s the excuse, but extra words
to squeeze in within a message and so easy on the pocket, that’s the honest
Then came WhatsApp and very soon it became the largest messaging platform across the
world. With it ended the era of people being stingy with words. Seconds became
minutes and minutes became hours that people started spending flexing their
fingers on the tiny virtual keyboards of their smartphones.
WhatsApp was a bit scary at start but before we realised it became a necessity. Yeah
true! Perhaps it took the place of food. The slogan changed to Air, Shelter and
WhatsApp. People could now stay without food for hours engrossed in chatting
and food as a necessity of life was thrown out of the door.
Old friends were contacted, bonds renewed, friendship grew, affairs developed, love
and laughter bloomed, advantages became galore. To be honest, even business dealings started
being exchanged over this medium. And in all this, emotions became emoticons.:)
WhatsApp evolved to keep pace with the needs of the mankind. Ticks started getting
multiplied, adding to the agony and the excitement. Groups were formed and the term
‘administrator’ got a totally new meaning.
Old school and college alumni started interacting more with groups formed for this.
Then splinter groups too started mushrooming with the boys only for the more
casual talks and the all-inclusive ones for the decent conversations. And this
is where the poor average male started developing a dual personality.
Call it bipolar disorder, a common form of schizophrenia or maybe the more clinically
inclined dissociative identity disorder, at the end of it, the common male
blame it on WhatsApp.
And this is how it starts. There is this common group consisting of all males and
females as members. The male feels the urge to post comments and forwards
galore to this group, the honest intention being just to impress the women folk
with their assumed “Oh! Here is the best gentleman I have ever seen” persona.
So to create that aura, the male needs to look, re-look, edit, re-edit and
finally censor the posts before he puts it on board. Then this poor desperate
anti-hero keeps checking his phone for Ooh-Laala! response from the females.
In between he shifts allegiance to the male only group too this honestly is where
he finds solace to speak up his mind, to be his honest self. He posts the
naughtiest of jokes, forwards the hottest of photos, and downloads all the
raunchy videos that he secretly runs through at least a zillion times in the
cozy comforts of solitude in the washrooms. Here too, he needs to impress, but
the impression to be created is a different type, where men are pitted against
men to prove their raunchiness.
Poor male! It’s a real pity that he needs to go through this multiple personality
disorder just to keep his persona intact.
WhatsApp, you need to take the blame for this neurosis in the common male. You need to
accept responsibility for the mental disorder in men. WhatsApp, you need to be
crucified for this dissociative behaviour of Adam in his quest to impress Eve.
PS: The author takes pain to clarify that he is not active in any WhatsApp groups
in either of its forms and hence has been able to live a single personality
life so far. So far, so good! Here’s, wishing myself all the best.