from Nirbhaya to Priyanka

Dear Most Men,

I hope you know me. We meet every day.

I am a Woman.

I may be your mother, your sister, your wife, your daughter, your colleague, your friend, your relative.

I could be just the stranger on the street or in the bus or the train.

Seven years ago, I was Nirbhaya; today I am Priyanka.

Sorry, may I correct. Few days back, I was Priyanka; today I am no more.

That fateful day, I had stepped out of my house, like you all do. But I didn’t return home.

I couldn’t, because some men decided otherwise.

And they made my last few hours an unbearable agony.

And they made my family go through the torment since when I had called up my sister to tell her that I was scared, because of some men around me.

Next day, my family had to identify my charred body. Till then, they were just hoping against hope… that I was alive; and safe.

And they knew. They knew that I was raped and killed.

I was no more.

**********

Dear Most Men,

Are you aware that?

I have raged, occasionally in public and many times privately.

My eyes have dimmed with tears and my head has pounded with anger.

I have felt shades of fear when all I wanted was to reach safety.

Are you aware why?

The cause was the same.

That glance or that leering head-to-toe look.

That word or that unwanted touch.

Those eyes fixated on my chest as someone talks to me.

************

Dear Most Men,

Should I tell you that this is just a glimpse of the price I pay almost every day; for being a woman.

Should I tell you that your gender sees my gender as something that belongs to you and can’t accept the fact that I don’t.

Should I tell you that because you are a man, I have to be submissive and bow to your will.

And if I don’t, you will continue to humiliate me, abuse me, touch me, rape me.

If I don’t, I become a ‘thing’ that must satisfy the twisted thought in your head or surge in your pants.

***********

Dear Most Men,

So let me tell you something, something you know, but don’t acknowledge or don’t remember or conveniently forget.

Like you, I am a human being.

Today, I feel dead inside.

A little more dead than I felt yesterday, last month, last year.

Today, I am tired. I am grieving. I’m letting the tears flow.

But that’s today.

Tomorrow, I may stand once again.

Strong; ready to fight.

Ready to do whatever it may take to change your limited mindset.

Ready to show you that a world exists beyond your fixation with your penis.

Will I succeed? I don’t know.

***********

Dear fellow Women,

Stop reading this for a minute; get up, and walk to a mirror.

Look into the eyes you see there.

What do you see?

Exhaustion?

Fear?

I do hope you see determination as well.

Because unless you see determination there, this world will never change.

As women, we are deep wells of patience and fortitude.

Many times, our youth and inexperience is the factor.

Many times, there is a financial cost to reacting, a cost we can ill afford.

Many times, we are afraid.

Take a moment; and a deep breath.

Now recall every moment when you were harassed because you are a woman.

To trusted men molesting you when you were too young to know what it meant; the only thing you knew was that it was not right. But your innocent mind did not even know how to frame such evil into words, so that you could tell someone what was happening to you.

You were never told such immorality existed in the world. You didn’t know who to reach out to.

Some of us, like me and so many thousands of others, pay with their lives.

And the blame for all of this lies with us; with each and every one of us.

For the way we bring up our sons.

Most importantly, because of our silence.

So the next time, do it for any woman you see.

Stand up for yourself when someone demeans you because of your gender.

Stand up for others when they are demeaned for their gender.

Don’t back off. Stand firm. Try it.

Let’s hope to succeed.

*********

Yours fearfully,

Bhaybhit (No more a Nirbhay)

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Replies: 38

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38 thoughts on “from Nirbhaya to Priyanka

  • Really!! We need to be strong for ourself and for others too.. Felt really bad after reading the blog.. Very touchy and emotional.. 🙁 should hang all those roaming out there with such disgusting evil deeds… 😠

    Reply
  • Well written. It is indeed time we educate our sons to respect and view women as human beings first and foremost. And educate women to stand up fearlessly for themselves as well as others…

    Reply
  • Dear Sanjay,

    Very effectively written , this message must be translated into action my action is Genital’s of such beasts must be disabled immediately after they are found guilty.
    Parliament must enact this act first let the trial in the Court happen, in our Country Court takes own sweet time.

    Reply
  • Excellent and have no words to appreciate you. How I wish we have more and more of men with your mind and heart. I will take a print out….. use it in my class as I have both boys and girls and conduct a class discussion. 👍👌🙏🙏
    I take class 9 and 10. I will also forward to maximum…….
    Keep writing and inspiring.

    Reply
  • How true we men have eyes that only see women as objects and not as humans please let us all men view all women as our wife sisters mothers

    Reply
  • Fantastically explained in simple words. Very well written and many congratulations. I think you need to send these to as many sleeping Indians as possible including PMO’s office and all the government institutions. They must make ruthless laws to curb this menace. Keep up your good work in the interest of common people. God bless you abundantly

    Reply
  • दिल को झँझोड़ देने वाली बात है Sanjay।
    Written well addressing both genders.
    Jawaharlal Nehru said- A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, and when the soul of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance.
    That utterance is still awaited. There are stirrings of it, which started with Nirbhaya..

    Education for both genders at home and outside may be the answer. Each mother teaching their son and daughter about values and respect… fathers teaching and demonstrating this at home, teachers incorporating in their teachings and NO tolerance to actions that are disrespectful to women…Ah an ideal world!
    God bless 🇮🇳

    Reply
  • What you have written are not just scattered reflections within a syntactic confinement. They are but harpoons sharp enough to bring out the skeletal truth that ‘BHAYA’ still exists…the fear in the helpless eyes of ‘the hunted’. Social conscience has to shake off the pall of moral fatigue. Shedding tears over helplessness can never effect any type of evolution.

    Reply
  • This is the truth which has to be hammered down to each men when they step out of house. If they fail there is no other option but to finish them before it becomes a epidemic

    Reply
  • Why are Indian males so sex starved? Is it our mindset, beliefs, upbringing, the casual way these crimes are discussed in the families?
    A study shows that a female child is a victim of her sex abuse first by her close family members and when she’s just a child and usually unaware of the dangers.

    Reply
  • Very well said. There might not be a single female in our country who might not have experienced that stare, the touch and the other various forms which these perverts think that they are licenced for it since they belong to the elite category. The limit has crossed to the high end. Let there be no more nirbhayas and priyankas. Let the females have the courage to stand up for themselves and let the males have the courage to stand with them. Let the change begin from the family itself. Really hoping for a better society

    Reply
  • No matter how much blogs/articles/education/sanskar etc etc kar lo, jab tak rapist ko instant execution nahin hoga, tab tak yeh sab bekar hain. Now some news channel reporter conducting interview of rapist family, this a step by reporter to gain sympathy for rapist, because rapist is the sole bread winner in the family. This news channel reported supporting rapist.

    Indian Judiciary is the biggest rapist of the country. If rape happens nd medical report confirms rape by matching blood and DNA, then no court hearing only execution will prevent. Why Middle east/USA etc doesnt have much rape cases, but people knows the outcome.

    Reply
  • Yes, very very true and correct, agree women should stand up to this kind of animal men behaviour or else there is no future for women.
    Men in our country are not human anymore, they have the animal instints and feel any women is their property.
    WOMEN stand up for your rights don’t fall prey to animals.
    Those animals must be sentenced to death, like the Saudi law, and not allowed to get away with power.

    Reply
  • Alakkaran Gangadharan · Edit

    These culprits should shoot on the spot without any court proceedings, but sorry to say our politicians will play their game with the dead / burned body for their benefits. 😠😠

    Reply
  • She treated sick animals whereas this society is really sick… Here, there is a need to take a prudent step towards such type of social evil….

    Reply
  • These culprits should shoot on the spot with out any court proceeding, but sorry to say that our politicians will play their game with the dead/burned body for their benifts.

    Reply
  • So well written Sanjay. What is really sad is seeing a few women display a regressive mindset like men, ” it was the girl’s fault too”. Also the human rights activists who after a few days start justifying the ” momentary aggression'” of the rapists.

    Reply

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