Humor and Satire

I could claim that I have an internet connection. But to be honest, I wasn’t ever happy with it.

A 370 Kbps speed wasn’t something I could boast about in terms of download speed, but then it was something which I had assumed to be beyond my control.

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This wasn’t the internet connection that I had opted for myself. When I moved over to this house, I had to inherit this internet connection as also many of the paraphernalia that came with the house, most of which weren’t to my liking too.

I hadn’t also not really bothered to secure my 370 Kbps internet connection and it wasn’t a shock for me to realise that my neighbours have been using my internet too as and when they wished to.

When a well-wisher suggested to me some time back that at least if I secure my internet connection and restrict it’s unauthorised usage by the neighbours, it would definitely increase it’s speed.

So finally, yesterday I decided to change my open internet WiFi to secure and put a password.

I was in for a very unpleasant surprise today early morning; my neighbour rang my door bell to inform me that he isn’t happy about what I did with my internet connection. 

My decision was after a lot of thought process and so I had to bluntly tell him that what I do with my WiFi connection is my home matter and my choice and he should rather mind his own business.

Annoyed, he drew away my cat back to my house, which he used to take home for his kids to play.

He yelled at me that he will complain to my Internet Service Provider.

He has also threatened me that he would file a complaint with my society that his hitherto free benefits have been unduly curtailed by me.

My other next door neighbour called me on the intercom this afternoon to inform that he isn’t too happy with my decision and feels it’s a violation of his personal rights.

I have been informed by the Managing Committee that this aggrieved neighbour has switched off his own electricity connection and has also decided not to use his own washroom – to show his protest.

His wife coming over every weekend to borrow some grocery had been a common feature since years. My wife was concerned that she didn’t approach for anything for the whole day today.

Our common maid was telling my wife later in the day that they served her tea without sugar as they had nothing left at their house today.

A few other neighbours to whom this aggrieved neighbour had approached for support have subtly conveyed to him that they do not reserve any right to interfere in my internal matters.

My entire family is joyful since then that their internet surfing has certainly become much easier and faster.

I am much happier with my secured 370 Kbps internet connection since morning.

Crazy Neighbour!

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to the recent scrapping of Article 370 by India and the objection by our neighbouring country is purely coincidental and unintentional.

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Replies: 7
General

Our politicians bicker with each other clamouring for votes but when it comes to stupidity, they match each other cutting across party lines.

Stupid comments by politicians are no surprise but what astonishes is that they continue to go full throttle on stupidity, spewing senseless statements, subjecting us to dumb shit.

We may doubt their sanity, make us laugh and sometimes make us cry, but they surely seem to get away again and again even after hurting a lot of sentiments, just because we seem to have a short memory.

It’s not the first time Indian politicians have made such absurd and insensitive statements and it most definitely will not be the last, but these clearly show their low standards.

Please don’t read this and forget. Remember this whenever you go to cast your vote.

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General

Being a Mallu during my school days was considered a privilege. In spite of the heavily accented clan that we were, all puns on our intonation and our duskier membrane were relegated to backseat, the moment we came dressed in those satin knickers when even the noble class could afford only polyester; or when we sported that enviable Casio digital watch; or when we had at least one Hero fountain pen in our pencil box.

Certainly not the most affluent community, when compared to the Gujaratis and the Marvaris, what made Malayalis still stand apart rubbing shoulders with the prosperous was that every household from the pea-shaped state that we belonged to, had an Indian Diaspora.

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