What’s up on WhatsApp! The male dual personality syndrome

Hey, what’s up? What’s that? Two word greetings had become passé ever since the
advent of short messaging services. The SMS had almost revolutionised and
revamped the poor Webster’s who have been trying hard to keep up with the
changing times on their dictionary. So here, what’s up had become whazzup!

Easy on the fingers as one lesser word to type, that’s the excuse, but extra words
to squeeze in within a message and so easy on the pocket, that’s the honest
maxim.

 

Then came WhatsApp and very soon it became the largest messaging platform across the
world. With it ended the era of people being stingy with words. Seconds became
minutes and minutes became hours that people started spending flexing their
fingers on the tiny virtual keyboards of their smartphones.

WhatsApp was a bit scary at start but before we realised it became a necessity. Yeah
true! Perhaps it took the place of food. The slogan changed to Air, Shelter and
WhatsApp. People could now stay without food for hours engrossed in chatting
and food as a necessity of life was thrown out of the door.

 Old friends were contacted, bonds renewed, friendship grew, affairs developed, love
and laughter bloomed, advantages became galore.  To be honest, even business dealings started
being exchanged over this medium. And in all this, emotions became emoticons.:)

 

WhatsApp evolved to keep pace with the needs of the mankind. Ticks started getting
multiplied, adding to the agony and the excitement. Groups were formed and the term
‘administrator’ got a totally new meaning.

 Old school and college alumni started interacting more with groups formed for this.
Then splinter groups too started mushrooming with the boys only for the more
casual talks and the all-inclusive ones for the decent conversations. And this
is where the poor average male started developing a dual personality.

Call it bipolar disorder, a common form of schizophrenia or maybe the more clinically
inclined dissociative identity disorder, at the end of it, the common male
blame it on WhatsApp.

And this is how it starts. There is this common group consisting of all males and
females as members. The male feels the urge to post comments and forwards
galore to this group, the honest intention being just to impress the women folk
with their assumed “Oh! Here is the best gentleman I have ever seen” persona.

So to create that aura, the male needs to look, re-look, edit, re-edit and
finally censor the posts before he puts it on board. Then this poor desperate
anti-hero keeps checking his phone for Ooh-Laala! response from the females.

In between he shifts allegiance to the male only group too this honestly is where
he finds solace to speak up his mind, to be his honest self. He posts the
naughtiest of jokes, forwards the hottest of photos, and downloads all the
raunchy videos that he secretly runs through at least a zillion times in the
cozy comforts of solitude in the washrooms. Here too, he needs to impress, but
the impression to be created is a different type, where men are pitted against
men to prove their raunchiness.

Poor male! It’s a real pity that he needs to go through this multiple personality
disorder just to keep his persona intact.

WhatsApp, you need to take the blame for this neurosis in the common male. You need to
accept responsibility for the mental disorder in men. WhatsApp, you need to be
crucified for this dissociative behaviour of Adam in his quest to impress Eve.

 

PS: The author takes pain to clarify that he is not active in any WhatsApp groups
in either of its forms and hence has been able to live a single personality
life so far. So far, so good! Here’s, wishing myself all the best.

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Shameful political misogyny

Another year ends and a new year starts on a sad note, with the safety of women and increasing incidents of rape and molestation still being of high concern in our country.

As we boast of leaping towards a developed economy, how developed we would ever be unless the mind-sets of the politicians change on this really sensitive issue. It’s not the country, or its economy, it’s the outlook of these politicians which need to develop.

Shamelessly, our ministers, instead of advocating for stringent laws against it, have been giving bizarre reasons as excuses for this increasing figure of atrocities against the women. These explanations by our elected representatives, which clearly highlight misogyny in politics, as a man I just hang my head down, feel ashamed.

 A politician screams out loud that it has always been consensual sex, and that girls cry rape only when the relationship comes out in the open or fail to extract money from the man. Wow! You have almost classified women as money sharks.

 Another leader has clearly exposed his sexist leanings by attributing the reason for molestation and groping to “skin show” and women staying outdoors after sunset. Not a surprise at all, as this gentleman had remarked a year back that girls wearing short clothes should be banned stating that if one keeps petrol and fire together, it is bound to burn.

 We can’t expect anything else from this leader when the president of his party had remarked some time back that “boys will be boys… they commit mistakes”, condemning the death sentence of the court to some rapists.

 His own son, another politician and the Chief Minister of a State today, when being questioned a couple of years back over the rise of violence against women in his state, had shot back asking, “it’s not as if you faced any danger?”

 Another politician has blamed the youngsters’ “western ways” for the incidents casually brushing it aside with his utterly derogatory remark that “such things do happen”.

 Some Khap leaders have the audacity to say that if the marriageable age is legally reduced, so that girls are married off at an early age, the men can use their own wives to satisfy their sexual urges and wouldn’t need to go elsewhere. How do you explain, my friend, these monsters, most of them already married, satisfying their urges on elderly women too?

 Our ministers have even gone ahead in blaming alcohol for such dastardly behaviour. What these learned men haven’t realized that they could try enacting laws to stop the menace rather than advocating on increasing the age bar on liquor consumption.

 The advertisement industry hasn’t been spared either from this blame game. Some ministers claim that the scantily dressed mannequins in the lingerie ads are responsible for polluting the minds of the men. If a puppet can pollute a man’s mind, would they spare a living woman?

 A “poribortan” driven politician remarks that the rapes are on the rise due to the fact that men and women interact and mingle around freely. If women take a U-turn whenever they see a man, I hope these monsters’ urges remain unscathed.

 A very easy excuse for these well-read leaders is that women are scantily dressed. Wow!, I presume, you mean that it is like showing a red tag to a bull. Banning bikinis, to min-skirts to even suggesting overcoats for girls in schools, these idiots want the women to dress according to the urges of the monsters.

 Our good old minister claims that the pub culture is responsible for the increasing rape cases. Wish he could advise his sons to be in their senses rather than blaming a culture for it.

 Not sparing the movies too, vulgarity in the movies has also been blamed by some of our politicians who have run out of excuses. I am not a bit surprised to see these same ministers grooving to these raunchy numbers in their private parties.

 Ministers have cut across party lines surprisingly to even claim that mobile phones being used to watch porn are a major reason for increasing cases of rapes. They seem to have conveniently forgotten about a couple of their brethren who were caught watching porn inside the parliament.

 And the ultimate was yet to come, when the Khap leaders have blamed spicy food, or non-vegetarian food, which, according to them, lead to hormonal imbalance. I am really surprised that even women eat the same spicy food, why don’t they go around raping men. Perhaps, he feels that women look more like chicken and goat.

Shun this political misogyny and shut up your illogical reasoning, my dear leaders. Rather, try to address on enacting stringent laws to end this menace.

Or just try to keep the testosterone level of the men in control so that they are able to keep it in their pants.

  

 

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