When do we end this sexual abuse? Shame on you men
As I was reading the newspapers
yesterday, one of the headlines on the front page hit me. And it hit me really
hard, on my face. The headline was about the statistics of increasing crime
against women in our country and the appalling fact that the state I dwell in
for my livelihood today, Maharashtra, tops the chart in this dubious

I couldn’t read any further. I
just closed the newspaper and sat down to think. I was wondering what is
happening to the men in this country? I realized that it is the society, our
upbringing that creates this mentality in men. We live in a society where it is
absolutely normal for men to have sexual fantasies about women. In some
classes, it is even considered healthy. Ridiculous, it may sound, but this is
the honest truth. And when this happens, such fantasies do turn violent.
If we need to change this, it is
the mothers who would also need to do a lot of things. In our society, it is
quite sad that mothers generally insist on teaching morality to their
daughters, try to keep them “grounded” but they pay no heed to how they should
be bringing-up their sons. This is the area which they need to completely
overhaul. I have seen mothers objecting to their daughters going out lest
someone thinks of them as loose characters. When the mothers think this way, it
is quite natural that their sons would also have the same thinking.
Another reason that I feel is
that the women in our country are not assertive enough. I understand that this
assertiveness comes from the society’s approval of one’s freedom and it is the
society which needs to take the blame for this. Why can’t we stop loading our
daughters with the massive burden of honour. By doing so, we are already
crippling them. The moment any such thing happens to a girl in our society, we
are so fast to outcast them that this fear is instilled in them since
Another reason that I feel is the
in-sensitiveness of the police force to this horrendous act. I have seen the
entire police station fling into action to nab a pick-pocket but when it comes
to even recording a complaint against a sexual abuse, they are reluctant. In
most of the cases, they try to admonish and try to blame the victim herself. It
is because the insensitive mindset of the policemen is in their very culture.
They also come from the same sexually dysfunctional and repressed families in
our society. This can change only if cops are recruited considering their
cultural upbringing in mind.
To be honest, sex education in
our country should not just be restricted to schools. In fact, it is the adult
men who need to be taught more than the kids. Perhaps what is needed is a
sensitization exercise that could teach them to manage their libidos in a
healthy way.
Till such time, such changes
happen, I, as a man, can just hang my head in shame whenever I look at a woman.
I may perhaps need to continue to hang my head in shame, till such time, such
perverts learn to keep their testosterone level in control so that they are
able to keep it in their pants.

I just want to share a small
story created and shared to me by a great friend. I want this story here as a
teaching to all men.
She got late at office that day
and she had to go home alone. She started walking towards the auto stand.
But it was too late; she had to wait for an auto.
She felt like someone was following
her, she turned back and ‘Bhoo’ he said.  She got scared and he laughed out loud.
Her office colleague it was. “I’m here because I can’t let
you walk alone towards the auto stand and don’t worry I’ll be
with you till you get an auto. You are my responsibility”
he said.
After ten minutes of wait,
an auto came but no passenger was in there. She knew that this
could probably be the last auto to pass by. She looked in an
uncomfortable manner at the auto driver. “Don’t worry sister; I’ll drop you at
your home safely. You are my responsibility” the auto
driver said. She sat in. Her home was in a dark lane; she had to
walk almost five minutes in the lane to reach her home.
She entered the lane and a
mid-aged man was smoking and looking at her. It was a neighbour.
He threw the cigarette away and said “Come I’ll walk with
you till you reach home. Don’t worry beti, you are like my
daughter only. You are my responsibility” The girl finally
reached home safely.
Every time I gave a pause in the
story, you must have felt that something wrong will happen.
This fear is what our society has given us. It will no longer
have an existence if every man can be like that office colleague or the auto
driver or the neighbour.
Dear men, like your sister,
mother, daughter and wife are your responsibilities, ‘She’ is your responsibility
too. Understand if you can.

PS: Our political leaders need to
shut up their illogical reasoning first.
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Shameful political misogyny

Another year ends and a new year starts on a sad note, with the safety of women and increasing incidents of rape and molestation still being of high concern in our country.

As we boast of leaping towards a developed economy, how developed we would ever be unless the mind-sets of the politicians change on this really sensitive issue. It’s not the country, or its economy, it’s the outlook of these politicians which need to develop.

Shamelessly, our ministers, instead of advocating for stringent laws against it, have been giving bizarre reasons as excuses for this increasing figure of atrocities against the women. These explanations by our elected representatives, which clearly highlight misogyny in politics, as a man I just hang my head down, feel ashamed.

 A politician screams out loud that it has always been consensual sex, and that girls cry rape only when the relationship comes out in the open or fail to extract money from the man. Wow! You have almost classified women as money sharks.

 Another leader has clearly exposed his sexist leanings by attributing the reason for molestation and groping to “skin show” and women staying outdoors after sunset. Not a surprise at all, as this gentleman had remarked a year back that girls wearing short clothes should be banned stating that if one keeps petrol and fire together, it is bound to burn.

 We can’t expect anything else from this leader when the president of his party had remarked some time back that “boys will be boys… they commit mistakes”, condemning the death sentence of the court to some rapists.

 His own son, another politician and the Chief Minister of a State today, when being questioned a couple of years back over the rise of violence against women in his state, had shot back asking, “it’s not as if you faced any danger?”

 Another politician has blamed the youngsters’ “western ways” for the incidents casually brushing it aside with his utterly derogatory remark that “such things do happen”.

 Some Khap leaders have the audacity to say that if the marriageable age is legally reduced, so that girls are married off at an early age, the men can use their own wives to satisfy their sexual urges and wouldn’t need to go elsewhere. How do you explain, my friend, these monsters, most of them already married, satisfying their urges on elderly women too?

 Our ministers have even gone ahead in blaming alcohol for such dastardly behaviour. What these learned men haven’t realized that they could try enacting laws to stop the menace rather than advocating on increasing the age bar on liquor consumption.

 The advertisement industry hasn’t been spared either from this blame game. Some ministers claim that the scantily dressed mannequins in the lingerie ads are responsible for polluting the minds of the men. If a puppet can pollute a man’s mind, would they spare a living woman?

 A “poribortan” driven politician remarks that the rapes are on the rise due to the fact that men and women interact and mingle around freely. If women take a U-turn whenever they see a man, I hope these monsters’ urges remain unscathed.

 A very easy excuse for these well-read leaders is that women are scantily dressed. Wow!, I presume, you mean that it is like showing a red tag to a bull. Banning bikinis, to min-skirts to even suggesting overcoats for girls in schools, these idiots want the women to dress according to the urges of the monsters.

 Our good old minister claims that the pub culture is responsible for the increasing rape cases. Wish he could advise his sons to be in their senses rather than blaming a culture for it.

 Not sparing the movies too, vulgarity in the movies has also been blamed by some of our politicians who have run out of excuses. I am not a bit surprised to see these same ministers grooving to these raunchy numbers in their private parties.

 Ministers have cut across party lines surprisingly to even claim that mobile phones being used to watch porn are a major reason for increasing cases of rapes. They seem to have conveniently forgotten about a couple of their brethren who were caught watching porn inside the parliament.

 And the ultimate was yet to come, when the Khap leaders have blamed spicy food, or non-vegetarian food, which, according to them, lead to hormonal imbalance. I am really surprised that even women eat the same spicy food, why don’t they go around raping men. Perhaps, he feels that women look more like chicken and goat.

Shun this political misogyny and shut up your illogical reasoning, my dear leaders. Rather, try to address on enacting stringent laws to end this menace.

Or just try to keep the testosterone level of the men in control so that they are able to keep it in their pants.



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